


What the Heart Wants

by I_bleed_Jensenite



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:21:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23150860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_bleed_Jensenite/pseuds/I_bleed_Jensenite
Summary: When Dean finds Cas in an unusual situation, he can’t stop himself from rushing to help. Sam’s more considered approach saves the day but not his blushes.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 1
Kudos: 63





	What the Heart Wants

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the fantastic art work of Aceriee https://archiveofourown.org/works/23104564

**What The Heart Wants**

Sam sat hunched over his laptop as Cas took down the clean mugs and poured the coffee. Dean placed the pancakes, scrambled eggs and bacon onto the table and reached for the maple syrup. The normal, domestic scene was shattered by a shout of, “So get this…” from Sam.

“OK, Sammy, whad’ya got?” Dean replied through a mouthful of pancake.

“A farmer in Idaho has reported goats missing from his farm. At first just one, but then it became a more frequent event. According to the report, other farmers have also reported goats missing in the local area.”

“Goats…doesn’t sound like a case for us. What are your thoughts Cas?”

“Could be our sort of thing,” Cas said hesitantly. “Is anything else happening locally?”

“That’s all it says. Have to ask the locals I suppose.”

“Great,” scoffed Dean, “Could also be a long drive to find out that it’s just cattle rustlers stealing goats. Idaho is what, 18 hours away?”

“It’s not like we’re very busy,” Cas replied. He loved working cases with Dean. Sam as well but any excuse to be close to Dean.

“Everything is quiet at the moment. No apocalypse looming.”

“So, should we check it out?” Sam asked.

Dean groaned. “Can we at least finish breakfast first? It’s a long drive. I’d like to do it without needing to stop for food immediately.”

They ate in silence, more or less. Sam researching links to the exact location of the farms involved, Cas just sipping a black coffee, and watching Dean eat. Watching Dean was his favourite pastime, but Dean got self-conscious about it and so Cas covered it up by pretending to be doing something. Drinking coffee was the prefect cover; the molecules were pleasing to him and Dean smiled at him for siding with him over coffee being better than the Kale shake that Sam had offered.

Dean and Cas stacked the dishwasher after breakfast. Sam went to get a book from the library, to do some research on the road trip. A shout of ”nerd,” from Dean, did little to dissuade him from stuffing the book into his backpack.

Dean began to prepare for the journey. “I think it may be best if I fly ahead and check out the local area, Dean. If it’s nothing, it may save you some of the journey,” Cas replied looking at Dean and Sam.

“It’s fine, you can come with us,” Dean said hopefully. He understood Cas’ need to feel useful, especially now that things were quieter, but Dean liked his company. He enjoyed long drives where he could use his rear-view mirror to watch Cas without anyone being aware. He knew that what he felt for Cas was more than friendship but he knew that Cas would never think about him about him in that way, but long drives at least gave him time to watch and fantasise about what might have been in a different lifetime.

“I think it’s better that I fly ahead Dean. Check out the area and talk to the locals,” Cas replied. Cas hated the long journeys by car. Not because his wings were squashed and dug into him, or because of the smell emanating from Sam after those awful green shakes, but because being so close to Dean for so long, knowing the Dean would never look at him romantically, was torture.

He wanted to be sat shotgun, his hand on Dean’s thigh as they drove and able to see the sparkle in his eyes that made Cas shiver, like no other human could.

Sam broke the deadlock by handing Cas a list of the farms involved and telling him just to locate them all and go for an evening meal, while listening for any local gossip. “Wait for us before you do anything else,” Sam warned. “We’ll be there tomorrow lunchtime.”

With that, they all left the bunker and set about their respective journeys.

Around lunch time, Dean pulled into a Gas’n’Sip, fuelled up baby and grabbed drinks and snacks for himself and Sam; not that nut crunch cereal bars could be considered food. He opened the jerky packet and munched on it, as he waited for Sam to return from the restroom. He checked his phone. No contact from Cas. Dean wasn’t sure that he had expected contact this soon but was uneasy because of the lack of it.

Another 5 hours of driving passed; still no contact from Cas. Dean even let Sam drive, thinking that he could take over for another stint before turning in for the night. He wanted to get there as soon as possible, and much as he hated to admit it, he wasn’t young enough anymore to drive for 18 hours non-stop. While Sam was driving, Dean’s only thought was Cas; “ _Was he ok? Why hadn’t he made contact? What was he doing?”_ Dean played with the phone in his hand, causing a smile to appear on Sam’s face. Sam realised how much Dean cared about Cas but knew that unless forced too, it was something that he would never admit. Dean had pushed away any thought of personal happiness, many years ago and by now those thoughts were so far down that Sam wondered if Dean would ever allow them to surface.

Dean realized that he was worrying about Cas more than he had ever worried about Sam. He closed his eyes, letting Sam think he was sleeping. Really, he was praying to Cas. ‘ _I’m not sure of you can hear me buddy, but I need to know that you’re ok. Phone me please._ ’ He said the same prayer, over and over again, but no response. At the next fuel stop, Sam gave Dean back the keys. Dean was glad to have something to do. He hoped it would stop him from thinking about Cas. He was wrong; the thoughts came just as frequently, only now he had the road to concentrate on as well.

A further 4 hours driving passed uneventfully and they pulled into the parking lot of a small motel. ‘Just need my 4 hours, Sammy,’ he said as he threw his bags onto one of the single beds and heading for the shower. While the water was running, Dean stripped and his thoughts returned to Cas, ‘ _Was he showering now? Was he safe? What did he look like naked?_ ’ Dean realised how inappropriate these thoughts were becoming and tried to think of something else, anything else. He even prayed again. ‘ _Cas, where are you buddy? Is everything ok? Respond please._ ’

He stepped out of the shower, dried himself and put on a clean pair of boxer briefs. Walking back into the room, he saw Sam on his laptop,

“Researching again, Sammy,” he murmured, throwing himself on to his bed.

“At least I’m not pining the absence of a certain angel,” Sam replied without even looking up. “I’ve seen you checking your phone and looking wistful. Luckily his phone still has the tracker in it that Charlie put there when we gave it to him. He’s about 20 miles outside of Idaho, in case you were interested.”

Sam laid on his bed and crashed straight out, snoring gently. Dean tossed and turned. He was happy that Cas was in Idaho but was worried about why he wasn’t replying to him. _Had he done something wrong?_ He couldn’t think of anything more than usual.

Dean woke to find Sam’s bed empty and then saw the note, “Gone to get breakfast. Took baby.” Dean checked his phone. Still no message. _What had happened to Cas?_ _He had never gone this long without making contact when they were on a case._

Sam returned and they ate a quiet breakfast, both thinking about how a case that had barely even felt like a case, could suddenly turn into something else. Dean worried about the lack of contact from Cas and who could have hurt him; Angels, Demons, Monsters… Sam worried that the case was not as simple as they had thought when they left. Silently, they packed up their things and headed back to the car. 5 hours drive and they would be in Idaho.

They drove on; Sam doing as much research as he could, Dean fixed on the road ahead, trying not to think about what might have happened to Cas. They pulled into the area where Sam had last located Cas’ phone and followed the tracer. As they pulled onto a long dirt road, across farmland, a sense of fear gripped them both. The signal stopped outside a disused warehouse; dirty, semi derelict, with broken windows and graffiti. The thought of, ‘why would Cas be in there?’ crossed both their minds. They got out of the car, checked their guns and weapons and walked cautiously towards the warehouse.

Rubbing the dirt from one of the only remining non cracked windows, they peered inside. At the far end they could make out a group of people gathered and someone’s head above the others. “Cas,” yelled Dean, throwing caution to the wind, and running in towards him, before stopping dead in his tracks and staring. Cas was stood, looking at the gathered crowd, wearing nothing but a leather loin cloth. Dean realised that he was staring but he couldn’t help himself. Several inappropriate thoughts flooded into his mind; ‘ _Why didn’t he know Cas had a body like that? Why did he wear a trench-coat when it only hid his muscles? Why was he an angel when he had the body of a Greek god?’_

Dean shook his head to change the thoughts and saw two men coming towards him, dressed only in fur loin cloths. He heard Cas speak but couldn’t process the words instantly. “Take him and prepare him for the ceremony. We have a new recruit.” Dean wanted to run, but he couldn’t move; his eyes trying to take in the scene in front of him. Fear and excitement filled him in equal measure. He stood still without protest, as the men grabbed him by the arms and led him roughly away. He kept his head turned, watching Cas for as long as he could.

Sam ran back to back to Baby and drove around to the end of the building where he couldn’t be seen. He felt bad running away from Dean, but knew that if he was going to help, he needed to know what he was facing in there, especially as he was now without Dean and potentially having to fight Cas. His research had led him to a couple of possibilities of what was in there, but he needed help. He flipped the phone from his pocket and dialled Garth. Quickly enlisting help, he explained the situation and hoped that nothing bad was happening in his absence. Garth confirmed Sam’s suspicions that this was indeed a Chupacabra and added that once Dean had fed from the bloody meat of the goat, he could not be saved without killing the head Chupacabra. This would also be needed to free Cas, although being an angel, there was no way of knowing what the Chupacabra influence could do to him. Garth gave Sam as much information as Sam could take in. Sam started planning how to help Dean.

Inside, the men had stripped Dean and had cleaned him thoroughly, Dean straining against the restraints constantly. He saw Cas’ phone on the table, switched off. ‘ _That would be why he wasn’t replying to me, Dean thought. If they have hurt him, I’ll…_ ’ Dean had no idea what was going on but knew that he had to get back to Cas and break whatever spell he was under.

When the men were happy that Dean was suitably prepared, they removed the restraints and led him back to the main area, acknowledging their presence with, “he is ready.”

“Bring him out,” came a voice that Dean knew was Cas.

“Ready for what? What is happening?”

“You are ready to join us. You will take part in the ceremony and then you will join us,” Cas replied waving his hand around the crowd. “Bring him to the front.”

Outside, Sam was busy. He needed to kill the head Chupacabra. Garth had told him that he needs a steel rod to achieve this. Holy water and lavender would take care of the rest of the converts. Sam raced back down the bumpy path to the village, not wanting to be away for longer than he could help. Seeing an old school with a steel fence in top of its crumbling walls, he worked a rusty rod back and forth until it came loose enough for him to pull it from its foundation. He slid it onto the passenger seat of the car and wondered where he was going to find lavender in this town. As he looked around, he saw an old church and wandered into the graveyard. He paced quickly up and down the rows until he saw bees in the churchyard. He followed them to a corner, where a lavender bush was growing wild. Pulling some off, he thought about how ironic it was that bees may yet prove to be the saviour of Cas.

He ran back to the Impala and pushed the lavender into the holy water stored where the spare tyre should be and threw that onto the passenger seat as well. Driving back as quickly as he could to the warehouse, he pulled out his phone to check on updates from Garth. There were two. One he could read later, the second was a photo of the person he needed to kill. Sam drew a deep breath and pulled the steel rod into his hand, putting the holy water into a Super Soaker gun on his back.

He stood at the entry door, breathed deeply and walked forward, looking at the scene in front of him. He paused for a moment, trying to capture every moment of what was going on. There was Dean, naked, kneeling in front of Cas, his hands out as if accepting a gift. Cas was saying something that Sam didn’t understand. Sweat and blood were dripping down Dean, collecting in pools where he knelt. Dean’s eyes had not moved from Cas’ eyes, almost as if in a trance. Dean was conscious of the thoughts running though his head, but he was unable to do anything about them. He knew that he should be resisting, should be trying to escape but to be honest, he didn’t feel as if he was in danger and was almost enjoying being under Cas’ control. He knew that he was hard and was trying not to think of his growing erection but seeing Cas, in so little, with so many muscles, just looking at him sent him into a frenzy. He tried to push the thoughts ways but still had no control over the situation. He looked at Cas and followed a bead of sweat as it ran down the muscular curves of his thighs.

A loud noise broke the silence, as Sam rushed forward towards the one that he was looking for. “Stop him,” echoed Cas’ voice, annoyed about being disturbed. Several men ran towards Sam, but he was more agile than them and grabbed the target easily, pushing the steel rod deep into his chest before rolling across the ground and pulling the water pistol from his back.

Chaos reigned in the room as the holy water infusion fell onto the crowd and they slowly returned to normal, struggling to take in the situation unfolding in front of them. The crowd in front of him walked around in haze as Sam walked over to Dean and Cas, soaking them in everything that was left in the water pistol. Dean squealed and shouted at Sam. “What the hell, Sam? What are you doing?” Cas just looked down at the floor with a puzzled expression on his face. Dean, realising that he was naked, squealed, before cupping his hands over himself and running to where Sam was standing.

Sam pushed him into the small, room at the back of the warehouse and ushered him towards his clothes. Cas followed shortly after, pulling on his shirt, pants and trenchcoat.

“Dean, whatever happened, I’m so…”

Before Cas could finish speaking Dean interrupted, “Shush, I don’t want to discuss it.”

“But Dean, I caused you to be embarrassed. I’m truly….”

“I told you, I don’t want to discuss it.”

They left the room in silence and Dean drove back to the motel still not speaking. Even though his was glad that Sam had solved the case, he couldn’t stop thinking about how much he wanted to see Cas like that for longer. He wished that he knew how to tell Cas what he wanted without fear of Cas rejecting him. Every time Cas or Sam tried to talk, he turned the music up louder and sang at the top of his voice.

Opening their motel room door, Sam and Dean flopped onto their respective beds, still silent, Cas taking the chair in the corner. Sam eventually stood up, “I’m going to speak and you two will listen without interrupting. Neither of you did anything wrong. The Chupacabra poisoned the meat before you ate to make sure that he had control of you. Garth worked out who he was by matching the Facebook profiles to the people in the barn. The first one to stop posting, was the first one taken and then he just checked that person’s friends until he found one that was currently in the barn. None of that was either of your faults. So, get over it. I’m going to get food for us all. You two had better have spoken by the time I get back.”

The door clicked as it closed, and Cas started to speak. “Dean, I understand that you don’t want to talk about it, but Sam says that we should. Please can you allow me to apologize? I didn’t mean to do anything that would embarrass you. I would never consciously embarrass you. But you seem angry with me also. What have I done to anger you?”

Dean looked at his sad face and realized that he needed to speak. He softened his voice, “Cas, we asked you to come with us. You went alone and then didn’t check in. I needed to know you were safe Cas. I was worried. I knew something had happened to you and I couldn’t help. I couldn’t do anything. I prayed and prayed but you didn’t respond. I didn’t know where you were. I was worried, Cas.”

“Dean, I am not a baby in a trench coat. I can look after myself. Most of the time anyway. And what about you. You charged in without a thought for your safety.”

“I thought you were hurt, or worse”

“You still risked your life for me. You should have stayed safe.”

“I couldn’t risk anything happening to you. I can’t lose you.”

Cas looked at Dean, lifting his head from the floor and staring straight into his eyes. “Dean, can I ask you a more personal question?”

“Depends on the question,” Dean said returning the eye gaze.

“Why, when you saw me in the warehouse, did your penis stiffen? My interactions with humans have led me understand that that only happens when you are interested in the other person.”

 _Oh God, he saw. How the hell do I answer that?_ Of all the things that Cas had to ask, it had to be that. Dean took a deep breath, knowing that this might be the time to let Cas know how he feels. “You are a good-looking guy Cas. I have never seen you without the trenchcoat and layers.”

“I do not understand. You like women yes. My vessel is male. I thought that you wouldn’t be interested in me, but your body indicated differently. Was I wrong?”

 _Oh crap, he’s not going to let it drop._ _Maybe this is now or never._ He thought carefully about what to say as he didn’t want to spoil the friendship if Cas didn’t feel the same way.

“Cas, I reacted to you body because I have fantasied about seeing you like that for months, maybe years. I’ve understood about our profound bond but thought that you, being an angel, would never be interested in a fuck-up like me.”

“Dean, you are the righteous man. Every part of you is perfect to me. I have loved you since I pulled you from perdition but knew that it was wrong to take advantage of the bond. I do not see your mistakes; I see the purity in your soul. Your eyes show me a love and devotion that I could never hope for from another angel.”

Dean leaned forward and took Cas’ hand. “I don’t have anything to offer you, except for what you have already seen. If you are prepared to give this a go, then so am I. Whatever this is?” He leaned forward closing the gap between then and kissing Cas. The feeling of stubble on his chin was not as unpleasant as he had expected, and Cas kissed back with passion and fire. Years of pent up emotions emanating from them both.

Dean took Cas’ hand and placed in on his throbbing member.

“See, excited again.”

Cas took Dean’s hand and pressed it to his crotch. “My vessel is also reacting to yours,” Cas replied.

“Shower,” Dean said suddenly. “I don’t want our first time to be when we are dirty and splattered in goat blood and stinking of lavender.”

They headed to the shower, stripping each slowly and exploring each other’s bodies while the water heated up. After all, they had already seen each other naked, now they could explore. They kissed, touched, stroked, pulled and caressed each other, while soaping each other clean. Finally, they emerged, covered in bites and lips blown from kisses.

They lay on Dean’s bed, snuggled in each other’s arms, hands exploring each other. Hearing a gentle knock at the door, Dean grabbed his towel. “Thanks for the food, Sammy. You might want another room for tonight.” Sam looked at the towel and then saw Cas also wrapped in a towel and instantly understood.

“Glad you two finally talked. See you in the morning, I’ve seen my brother naked enough for one day.”


End file.
